As life has been presenting me many opportunities to grow, I've learned some things that have been so helpful to me that I wanted to write a mini blog on one in particular.
It's a simple question, "What is the lesson?"
I have found myself being triggered by people, learning to identify where I feel the trigger in my body was the early steps. She makes my stomach hurt, or he makes me feel like I can't breathe, or when he says that, I feel the anger crawling up my spine.
This was helpful in being able to identify what I was actually feeling, which was an important step, but none as important as what's next.
Why? Why am I feeling this way? Are they my mirror, showing me something I don't like that lies within myself by them acting it out? What is it teaching me? There's always a lesson.
Maybe the lesson is simple, and it's telling you, this persons energy isn't good to be around. It's okay to be protective of who you allow yourself to be around. Is it to bring up an old wound you haven't healed? Maybe a parent or an ex did something similar and you never processed this. Is it you?
Look just like the rest of every human around, I have dark sides that I would love if I could stay hidden. However, it doesn't work that way. If I don't learn to accept and own it, trust me it will be shown to me repeatedly.
For instance, recently I got upset because I felt like Steve was wasting my time. He would call me in the room and then sit and watch TV instead of typing what he needed. I felt so bad about how CRAZY it made me. I would get so upset and walk out of the room before he even told me what he needed.
So why am I sharing this unflattering story about myself. Because in meditation I finally asked, "Why am I getting mad at Steve about this?" Suddenly a friend came to visit, and taught me the practice I wrote in previous blogs about accounting for my day, and it dawned on me; I'm wasting my own time.
Steve was just a mirror. That's how it works in relationships. You are triggered and it's up to you to figure out why and how to stop it. It's not up to Steve to figure it out. Once I was able to see that it wasn't actually Steve, it was me, I was able to right my wrong behavior and put the work to stop wasting my own time.
This is why I do my work. Not only do I deserve me being the best me, but Steve does also.
Enjoy your weekend y'all, and don't forget to ask the questions.