When you really become in tune with yourself and your habits and reactions to life, it's interesting what you discover. In some areas I work best with structure, but I'm also very free; in all ways. So as I find myself finally in the zone while being focused on what's actually ahead of me in that moment instead of the hundreds of things buzzing around me, I have some structure. I find me making lists and checking things off. So much productivity.
Suddenly, I'll have this constant heavy thought of I'm too free of a personality type to live with this structure, it's stopping my creativity, and I'll let it all go, finding myself floating around aimlessly living in a nice dream world. Doing things as they come or as I'm inspired, and this works for me for a few weeks, until the smashing reality of things left undone pile up and fall on top of me.
Then I'm left confused as to how I'm supposed to be or live or function. The only thing that makes sense to me is caring for Steve and the rest is too overwhelming to process. So then I shut down for a few days and crawl in a bubble to lick my wounds, until I'm finally able to get my head back on straight and then I go right in for structure to start the pattern all over again.
The pattern flows very closely with the moon. No surprise here. So as I've really put it in my mind to be mindful about what is working for me, and what can I do that will continue to work for me, I've come up with something I will name Hope-tree-ivity.
In me sharing this, I hope it helps others who don't fit society's molds feel inspired to make their own. Because one size fits all does not fit me, and I'm going to guess it doesn't fit A WHOLE lot more people than you would expect.
Here it is. It's simple and I don't know why it took me so long to get here.
Have an equal balance of the 2 in a day. So simple right?! Why is it one or the other? Why is it structure OR free. You say, "oh, Hope you can't be structured and free flowing at once", and I say, "Yes you can."
Think of it like a tree.
The structure is what roots you in the ground. It keeps you from floating in the clouds all day, and helps you find routine in areas that NEED it, and the free flow is the leaves, growing in different shapes and colors in all directions. Aiming towards that light and flowing in any direction the wind takes it.
I was writing in the book yesterday and I continued to draw lines of connections between me and trees and this thought came to me. Certain areas of my life I need structured. Okay hope, so wake up and do your morning practice. Okay hope, fulfill these obligations that require immediate attention and do your packaging and shipping. Structure. Then the creative side, sure work on whatever project calls you that day.
With my creations I have a process where I'm fortunate enough that those who support me understand. My custom orders have a completion time range from 1 week to 1 month. It's mostly because Steve's my number 1 and if he needs me all day, there is no taking my attention away to work on a custom order. That's only one side of it though. When I create I am putting my energy and intentions to bring something good and positive in the world. I want this mala I'm making you to bring you that feeling you need. You need peace, okay I'm going to make your mala when I feel peaceful. You need love, well I certainly won't make it for you after I get done with an argument with Steve. Same goes with all creations, but I've blogged on this before.
Why are we trying to put ourselves in a box when we are trees!! We need more room, more ideas, we grow, we are ever changing. So a simple acceptance that everyday needs a little structure, but it can also have that free flow that I (and others) love so much.
So I'm going to root down like the tree and enjoy the sun shining on my face, the breeze blowing me around, and the rain falling down to nourish me.
Side note: If I was typing this on my phone, it would be inundated with tree emojis. :)