Wednesday, November 26, 2014

you CAN sit with me---No more mean girls

I am writing this based on a risky decision I made yesterday.  Now it was one that was thought out, discussed, meditated on, etc, as are most of my decisions; and I knew there would be backlash) but one thing I wasn't expecting was people being just plain old mean.

It got me thinking......& no I don't regret my decision of this:

In a world where people pay more attention to people's booties, color of our skin, size, how much photo shop, etc we have lost focus on what is important. I would like to CHALLENGE everyone to put the focus back to what is important. So clearly if it takes a little T & A to accomplish this, so let's have some fun with this.  I am challenging everyone to take a sexy photo of yourself for your cause. This comes with a twist, Steve Dezember II, Sarah Spicer, Matthew Moore, & Jeff Kaplan & I will be choosing someone who did this contest best on Facebook & Instagram & the winner gets: A HOPE for Steve DVD, a DRIVE Project painting, a Hope for Steve tshirt, bracelet, car decal, & a Hope Mala. Yep that's a lot. 

ALSO we will be making a calendar of the best 12 & all proceeds from calendar sales will go to

So here is what to do. 

Take a photo that makes you feel sexy & have fun with it, talk about your cause & why it's important & where people can help. Hashtag the following:#Sexyforyourcause #HopeforSteve (so we can see & choose the winners) &#ENDALS (because clearly that's the reason this all is starting). We don't want to limit this to ALS as there are so many causes & we want everyone to be able to speak about theirs. Share on your social medias & challenge 3-as many of your friends as you want.

So mine is obviously ALS. ALS has affected my husband Steve & within 3 years of diagnosis he is fully paralyzed, vent dependent, gets fed via IV, & communicates with his eyes as he has lost his voice. There is hardly a more frightening or devastating prognosis. The vast majority of patients die within two to five years of any symptom of the disease. ALS attacks your body killing your motor neurons and muscle. Since Steve's diagnosis in 2011, we have made it our mission to spread awareness about this disease which affects roughly 30,000 Americans. Through social media, our website, and the documentary, we have tried our best to show what an ALS patient goes through on a daily basis.
Photo: Jeff Kaplan
Editor: Retoucher Bianca Carosio
Styling: Steve Dezember II
Makeup: Candice Holloway

It made me think of how "meanness" has become socially acceptable.  I am all for people being authentic and speaking out for what they believe in, but do you really have to put people down to express your opinion?  Think about it?  How many things have happened this year and where you have seen so many mean things written while people share their opinions. 

When did we let this be okay?  Is it that people feel like they can hide behind social media or their blogs etc? Or has humanity really become meaner?  I believe in the good, I see so many amazing things happen on a daily basis, in fact this photo that was a bit of an envelope push, it was 95% positive feedback, so I hate to even address the negative.  BUT it just bothers me that anyone feels they should be mean to ANYONE.

We have to stop it, only we can.   As you are typing your message or comment remember you have plenty of time to think about your response & edit it before hitting send.  If you so strongly disagree & feel disappointed or angry maybe take a step back.  If expressing your opinion is so important after a few hours then do so but there is no reason to pull a mean girls.

I say we put a stop to this mean girl mentality. I say you CAN sit with me.  NO matter what color your skin is, or your religion, or you opinions of me or what I choose to do.  You can sit with me & I will show you love.  & I BEG of all of you to please show more kindness to one another.  We don't have to agree but we also don't have to be enemies.

Love really is the answer.

PS Yes for those who asked if I'm that desperate?  I am. My husband is dying.  Everyday ALS robs a little more of him from me & our life.  Every day he needs a little more sleep and feels a little more weak.  Everyday he faces another uphill challenge with courage. So yes, I am desperate. I am desperate people finally stand up for what is important because the whole world is desperate right now.  We need our voices & we need them to be speaking for the greater good.