It literally changed my life

I don't know if I'm alone on this but I have a lot of "it changed my life" moments lately, and here's what I think about it.  Before, when I never paid attention to the world around me, hardly even paid attention to the people I was with, I never had a lot of life changing moments.  I've always had a positive outlook on life but never really experienced a lot of ah ha moments. Now that I am open the experience, it happens more often.  I see it in everything.  

The amazing people we met on our honeymoon, taught us the value to looking at the simple things in life, being grateful, & focusing on what we do have.  Also, the amazing feeling we got from traveling and connecting with others inspired lots of new experiences.  Wanee (the first year and second year), 2012 Wanee taught us to get in touch with nature and others in a deeper way. Taught us to relax more and have fun; always dance, be happy, & to try to make it to as many shows as we can because music is healing. The 2013 year is when Michael Franti showed us the most amazing kindness and shared our story with thousands of people (both at the show & after online).  Steve & I have always wanted to reach the massess with our story because of the ALS awareness & our story of our love, and with Michael's help we have reached more than we imagined. The documentary premiere even; to be able to feel and revive that much love from the room. It was a dream come true shows us that if you have a dream, never doubt yourself, go for it. If you work hard enough it will come true. ☺️

You have to be open to what the world is presenting you with---if not you will miss lots of life changing experiences. 

So give yourselves a chance for these moments to happen. Open your hearts and your minds, & be present.  You will be amazed how many days become more than just amazing but they change your life as well.  

Self love

 I've had a few people message or say sly remarks recently about my like of photos of my self, a selfie, or a photo shoot. Photo shoots are fun y'all. Seriously & if you don't think so you haven't done it up right. The perfect hair & makeup, awesome outfit, great photographer who understands angles and lighting and capture you looking your best. That feeling of seeing a photo and seeing your true beauty. It's something everyone should feel. Imagine if we all realized how beautiful we actually are. Showed ourselves more love---how much happier the world would be.


I grew up thinking I was ugly.  More awkward than ugly but still didn't consider myself pretty. No one should ever feel that way. That's why getting dressed up & taking photos makes me happy & should make you happy too. Have fun & love yourself more. You are important and taking care of you is important, & you can't properly care for you until you love you. Let's stop beating ourselves up & start lifting ourselves up. So when someone tells you to stop taking so many photos of yourself---say no I think you should take more of yourself. ❤️

So on the subject of photo shoots, I want to tell y'all about my Free People dream come true.  A few months ago they asked me to be apart of their fpme shoot.  Of course I was worried about who would take care of Steve, but thankfully he saw this as a fun break for me, and insisted.  Thanks to my friends Jen & Meradith for coming to stay with Steve I had the chance to go have the best day! check it out :)  Free people inspires girls to be free spirits, strong, determined, adventurous, loving, happy, & well rounded girls.  Girls that should be looked up to, that inspire others to be great & look great while doing so!  I love to take photos in their clothes & share them on their site.  Since coming in contact with them they have sent me a few outfits as gifts, simply for being a free people girl.  It's an honor & wanted to share this side of what makes me, me. :) 

photo: fp Jana Kirn

How my one day without social media changed my life.

Yes you read that right.  I went 24 hours without any social media. 

Normal everyday: Wake up, check on Steve, Steve's still sleeping.  I pick up my phone, play on Facebook for 20 minutes, replying to 40 things and getting annoyed at the timeline.  I move on to Instagram for 30 minutes, check the comments, check the latest posts, and search my favorite people (yes so dedicated the search happens occasionally).  Then on to tumblr for 15 minutes, checking for something to strike my eye, then the mail box dings, reminding me that I have to clear the mailbox full of junk mail.  Of all the emails I keep 1 of 60 on average.  Then Steve wakes up.  Of course I'm focused on only Steve when I'm taking care of him, but that is literally the only time.  I'm even face booking in my sleep these days.  Of course while someone is here we are instragraming, I'm constantly facebooking while watching whatever is on TV or netflix in the evening,  & the obligatory photo of my evening yoga or whatever "set" I created that day.  

If you really know me you even know my nickname is Mrs. Facebook.  I used to justify it, "Oh I need to stay in touch with my family," or, "It's my job, we having a following, we live off these paintings, this DVD is a dream, etc."  Now obviously social media is always going to play a large part of my life, but I felt the need for balance.  I felt overly involved in social media, whether it be promoting Steve & I (sounds so tacky right), or  feeling like I know someone simply because we are friends on social media.  I have great real life visits with so many incredible people, I need to be more present in those moments.  

This day has been an enlightening and empowering experience.  I would go for my phone and immediately be brought back into the present moment.  I was so focused on everything I was doing.  Proved the theory right, I experienced very minimal ADD.  I got so much done in such a short time, I was efficient...not just efficient, everything was done well.  I feel empowered that I set my intentions on something and I followed through, I feel enlightened in the simple sense that I really can control my scatter brain, cluttered ways.  Granted this will be a process and will require regularly scheduled social media breaks in order to clear the mind again, but this is a life changing start.  

The realization.  The ah ha moment.  After all, that enlightened feeling is one of life's greatest feats. When is the last time you unplugged?  

Upcoming goodness y'all

Y'all have been waiting for the DVD release, right?  :)  Well you can order now & they should be shipped end of July-Early August.  To order click here!  We are so excited! Thank y'all for the patience, love, & support! :)

In just 2 weeks Steve & I will be receiving our VW camper van which we will be doing some fixing up on (which will include some fun paint sessions).  Because of this my escape is currently for sale.  Here is the add to my escape for anyone who may be interested.  Steve has wanted to always have a way to be in my future & this van is a way he can do so---he & I of course still hope for plenty of time to put our own stamp on her & take our own adventures. Most amazing man in the world. 

August 2nd-Matthew Moore anual golf tournament is to benefit us again this year.  We all know Matt can put together an excellent golf outing.  The 2014 MMI will be August 2nd at the Heritage Golf Links. Tee times will start at 2 pm. If you would like to sign up to play, donate a silent auction item, or sponsor a hole please contact myself or Matt.  hope.ann.cross@gmail.com or mmoore2784@gmail.com  There will also be a pub crawl following---stay tuned for details. 

August 23rd-Garrett from lululemon athletica Howell Mill is proud to present a special donation based screening of The Documentary Hope for Steve on Saturday, August 23rd at 8pm. There will be a screening of the documentary, lots of socializing with amazing people, 

& drive paintings. 

Steve has been working hard on Drive paintings the past few weeks.  Stay tuned for lots of new paintings to be listed shortly & check out the ones available now.  www.driveforacure.com 

I'll close this blog with a cool thing---

Mike Bodker, Mayor of Johns Creek & Johns Creek City Council Honored Steve & myself yesterday for our efforts to spread ALS awareness.  Such a wonderful & cool honor.  

Lots of love! 

Open Hearted Sharing

Wanted to start this blog with saying that although sometimes it is very hard; Steve & I want to be very open with y'all, we come from a genuine place where we hope our true journey will help others. Sometimes it's hard because the things we share are very personal & sometimes it's because I feel like we need our space or privacy.  A lot of thought goes into what we share & how we do it.  We never want to come from a negative space, but we always want to be honest.  Some things with ALS just suck & there is no way to put it other than just that.

So a small update without giving too much information.  As we know, the disease progresses and more things happen to a pALS (person with ALS) body.  For instance due to Steve only being on TPN (IV food) because of his gastroparesus (unable to clear stomach) he now has developed what is called anemia of chronic disease.  Where he is no longer able to make red blood cells & will require blood transfusions frequently.  Thankfully we have a great team working with us to assist in this complication.

Well this weekend, another challenge has presented itself to us.  For those who wonder, Steve & I can still be intimate. :)  Lucky us right?  Well, we thought that might be taken away from us recently, as Steve is no longer able to void (urine output) without a catheter in.  Progression has made his muscles too weak.  Steve & I  have spoken with our nurse/doctor & we intend to do an in & out foley catheter, which is less invasive, while still making sure Steve is able to empty his bladder.  We had a sad few hours until we discovered there are ways around this new complication, as there usually is.  

We feel blessed to be surrounded by so much love & support--We want you to know that it does help us get through the hard times and to continue this fight in such a positive way.  

More updates on some upcoming things we have coming up tomorrow! Here are a few recent photos. 

Lots of love. 

Reviews from the Hope for Steve documentary

We've gotten some great responses from our documentary premiere, that I wanted to share with everyone.  Thank you to those who have reached out to give thoughts and feedback, we appreciate each kind word & suggestion we received.  

Garret Cockayne (Lululemon manager)
"Since attending the premiere of 'Hope For Steve' at the buckhead theatre, I've been asked by countless people my thoughts on the film. The only word that comes up for me is honest. We got to see the good, the the bad, and the ugly in a compassionate & non-exploitive way; which is, sadly, something that can be missing when telling the stories of individuals in situations that we may not fully understand. At its root it was a love story."


Matthew Moore (Producer/editor/writer) 
At the after-party, I shared a drink with a woman who didn't know anyone at the premiere. "Hey!" she said, offering her hand, bracelets dangling, "I gotta introduce myself to some people." 
I quickly learned that she had come to the premiere because her daughter had been diagnosed with ALS at the age of 34. "Except, my daughter's significant other didn't make the same choice that Hope did." 
For the first time I am watching our film on a giant theater screen with people I don't know. All of those encouraging YouTube comments and Facebook likes have showed up to see the cinematic manifestation of the story they've been following for months, some of them years. 
For the 349th time I listen to Steve make the joke about "this" not being an old man's disease, "I was 28 years old when I was diagnosed . . . at least that's what I told her." he says, slyly looking to his new wife for laughter. 
I can still wath the film anew as if I had nothing to do with making it. It's doesn't matter that I know everybody's line by heart. 
Just minutes in people are laughing. They seem relieved that there is joy and humor and that this story isn't just a tragedy, if it is one at all. And when it's silent, the audience is not restless. Maybe there are sniffles, maybe there are tears, but our audience is riveted. 
Perhaps the thesis of the film, a comment made spur of the moment by our costar in a spontaneous interview given nearly a year ago.
"That's when he was like, you know, you don't have to stay with me, I understand if you go. . . . and I just never understand why he said that? I guess he was looking out for me, but I never would have left him."

Charlotte Tate (Artist)
Words can hardly even describe how I feel after watching the premiere of The Hope for Steve documentary today. The story of Steve Dezember, 31, who has ALS, and his amazing love story with is beautiful wife, Hope. 
The tears started within the first minute and never stopped. There were tears of joy, tears of heartbreak and tears of complete laughter. This movie was so unbelievably moving, as I knew it would be, but what I actually saw today with so much more than that. I am mad as hell at this horrendous disease that is robbing this beautiful man's life, but then inspired and moved by the love and joy Hope brings to Steve's life each and everyday. Their love can move mountains and change the world.I'm mad as hell that research for this horrendous disease is so unbelievably underfunded, but then I am so hopeful that something can be done to change that. That something starts with this movie. This love story of Hope and Steve.
They truly exhibit “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” love; the overwhelming love that everyone hopes to find in their lifetime. The love that God designed for us to share, to really live. The love that He tells us about in 1 Corinthians 13:8, “Love… always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” That is Hope & Steve love.  While they depend on others for support, so many others look to them to for inspiration. They set the benchmark for living each day to the fullest. They live on very little but have so much. Despite his health and their financial situation, they are truly rich. We all have so much to learn from them. Those of us who were able to be at the premier walked away better than we were when we walked in. We witnessed a transparent tale of two people that fell in love and held on tight through the whirlwind of life. The Documentary: Hope for Steve… love, laughter, and standing ovations.


Betsy Pyle Armentrout (Follower/Supporter)
 I learned about your event in the AJC on Saturday. My family has battled a related degenerative neurological disease and the article grabbed my attention. I did not know Hope and Steve prior to watching the documentary. Having witnessed the disease and their relationship through the documentary, I feel like a part of their community and now a warrior in their fight. Their candidness, humor, and integrity throughout the movie imprinted in my heart. Thank you for being courageous. These diseases tend to have quiet voices. Thank you for shouting words of love, optimism, and pain. Your fight and your voice makes a difference


Amber Goodwin Cloy (Follower/Supporter)
The Documentary Hope for Steve premier was emotional… impactful… captivating! We were invited into the life of Hope & Steve, to share in their joy, and in their sorrow, to get a glimpse into their love story. 

Gareth Asher (musician)
The movie is an inspiration for the world to wake up and pay attention to how precious each moment truly is.  Hoe and Steve want us to live our lives full of greatness.  They want us to hug the ones we love and not ake a single minute for granted.  Time is a gift.  We will laugh, we will cry, but we will preserve together, all in opes of awakening the mind that can rid our world of this horrible disease.  

Jeremy Brown (owner of Love is Art/Artist/co-directer of the drive product) 
The film was absolutely amazing.  It was a perfect blend of information & heartache, yet extremely uplifting and inspirational. The film gave me a glimpse into the disease, while providing the powerful message of hope & living every moment to the fullest.  I knew I would shed some tears of sadness throughout the film, but was pleased to also shed many tears of joy and laughter.  The film's ability to touch on so many heartbreaking  emotions, while at the same so many heartwarming emotions.  I left the film with a warmth in my heath and an outlook of cherishing every breath.  Two thumbs up.  

Kristen Wolf (Follower/Supporter)
I have always been a fan of love stories. What girl isn't? Last winter I went to see my friend Gareth Asher perform at Steve's Live Music in Sandy Springs. It was a beautiful Christmas show and the band all wore Santa hats and even sang some carols. In a little side room off to the left there were beautiful paintings set up with the name "DRIVE" in bold. There, I first heard the story of Hope and Steve Dezember, and although they were at the show that evening, we had not yet been introduced. Atlanta is a small town, and it seems that Hope and Steve attract the same kinds of people I love into their lives as well. Over the year I kept hearing bits of their story and seeing different friends working with the couple to create artwork, awareness, and concert benefits for the couple. The time came for the Buckhead Theatre Premiere and I had friends taking pictures for the event, singing at the even, and donating artwork for the event. Everyone was so excited and eager to see a film that would inspire a lovesick generation and culture to believe once more that love does indeed conquer all. At least, after the insane lack of healthy and successful relationships I've endured, and consoling multiple friends with aching hearts over too new breakups, that is why I went and what I needed that particular Sunday afternoon. I remember going with Adelaide Tai and hearing her say "I think this will be good for our spirits!" 
The film was beautiful. It captured the spirit of the couple so deeply. You watched laughing and weeping, feeling like it was your best friends going through this terrible disease with such grace and love. For some, that was the case, but I'd never actually met Hope or Steve, but in a weird way-- I knew them. The film captured how terrible ALS is while allowing the light of Hope and Steve to radiate through to the audience. What was captured by the lens made you care and made you pay attention to this couple who refuse to let ALS have the last word in their lives and in their love.
If you want something nice and easy, do not watch. If you want to go about your life unchanged, avoid this film. If you're looking to be inspired and moved, not only watch this film- but share it with others. Ask what you can do to help, and think about how much greater life is when the stakes are raised and love is on the line. This film is a call to action against ALS- you cannot watch and sit idly by.

Remember you can purchase your DVD now here

Lots of love! 

Hope for Steve the documentary Premiere

I never like to use the word 'perfect'.  It's usually a false word, nothing really is perfect.  However, I have no other word for Sunday, June 1st, our documentary premiere.  It was the perfect day.  

For starters Steve being able to attend this event is reason to celebrate alone.  For those who have followed our journey and are familiar with ALS, it's day to day.  The week leading up to the event there were 4 of the 7 days where he would NOT have been in the right condition to attend.  So it's a true blessing, and one I want to shout to the world, that Steve was healthy enough!  

Now something most don't know is that I enjoy planning things, so I was very hands on when planning our premiere.  It was fun meeting with our group of amazing volunteers and our team to discuss all the exciting things planned for the day.  It was an amazing feeling each new person who contacted me with a sponsorship, silent auction item, or donated piece for the event.  It's amazing to watch people come together with such passion for us.  

So we had some great visitors come in town for the premiere, from childhood friends to family.  It's always nice to have visitors but even more so when it's group of visitors! :D 

Steve & I love a reason to get dressed up, especially when that reason is going to a theater to watch the documentary we have been working on for close to 3 years on the big screen surrounded by some of our closest friends, family, & supporters.  The day blew all my expectations out of the water.

We get dressed up, gather up the troops, and head on the way.  I had been on the phone straight for a full week before working out details with all of our team & the day of all the texts and calls were calm & encouraging.  Saying things were going great & that the place was already full!  We arrive around 3:35, time to let some of the crowd get inside, but still time to take photos on the red carpet.  We were greeted by a beautiful crowd upon pulling up to the venue.  After snapping photos and a quick news interview we walk through the crowd to our seats.  I get chills when I see the amount of love others show Steve & I and this day was no exception.  Cheers and clapping as we walk through the crowd to the theater and so much love you can feel it.  As we find our seats we continue to try to say hello to everyone, we realize that it's a packed house, close to 700 people came!

Anxiously awaiting the movie we all get settled into our seats.  Now Steve & I have only seen a rough version of the movie before this day, so we were very ready to finally see the finished project we have all worked so hard on.  From the moment it starts, I have butterflies in my stomach and cannot sit back. I hold tight to Steve with a handful of tissues ready.  The tears start right away, and as I find myself focusing on wiping Steve's tears away I am able to catch glimpses at the audience wiping away their own.  Hearing the audience cry, cheer, laugh, and chant with our documentary is a feeling unlike anything I've ever felt.  It was a moment that I will replay in my mind over and over.  That kind of feedback is what you want from your audience.  The film goes on for about an hour & 10 minutes.  I clean Steve & myself up & get ready to get on stage.  

I was surprised that I had no nerves of the idea of getting on stage; I was so happy with the movie, felt like it showed our story so well, I was excited to hear the audience's thoughts, & for Steve to be able to see just how many people were in attendance.  Watching his face as I wheeled him out to the standing ovation filled my heart with so much joy I had to choke the tears back.  That moment right there made the stress of making sure the film is just as we want it, the stress of planning an event, the stress of getting Steve out of the house, the stress of every thing very well worth it.  

::SIDE NOTE:: I know that there may have been more feedback and questions from the audience and we are truly thankful for the response we have gotten thus far.  If you were in attendance and have any further questions or thoughts about the film, please do not hesitate to contact any of us; via Facebook, email, text, whichever. 

My review on the movie. :)  I have to say that I loved being able to see Steve & my personality shown so accurately.  We really are just a bunch of goofs that are wide open books.  Steve has such a sense of humor that shines bright & you can see that I have no shame. :)  You get a very intimate look into our relationship even some of the dark sides.  We of course aren't "dark" people and didn't want a "dark" movie, however, ALS has some real life "dark" moments that have to be shown.  I believe by us showing these hard to watch moments and us overcoming them together is part of what will help inspire others.  I am proud of our team for us all having such strong ideas and opinions for being able to come together and make this happen. I believe we can change the course of the disease through this as we do show accurately what ALS has done to Steve.  You see him being athletic to him being stuck in the bed to me lifting him out.  It shows the melt downs, it shows the tears, and it shows the fun!  :)  We have some friends and family say some very powerful thoughts and messages also.  Oh and can we talk about the sound track!  Michael Franti, Gareth Asher, Dave Matthews, Nahko & Medicine for the People, Zara Sky, Sam Sniper---hello! PS look up the Hope for Steve playlist on spotify.  I am pleased that we were able to show the full story of Steve & I between the medical side, the love story, & our adventures.  

So what now?  This is what : Buy a DVD $19.99 & 2 dollars from each DVD sale goes to ALS TDI.  Share this blog, share the trailer, share the documentary Facebook page, share the website, the HOPEforSteve page, share the link to buy DVD's, etc. :) 

Thank you CBS 46 for attending the event and doing a story

Special thanks to: First of all to everyone who helped us financially make this happen.  Between the kickstarter and the sponsors, you all made it possible for us to make this film come to life.  Thank you too all who came to the premiere, you all helped make the night perfect.  Thank you to the crew (Matthew Moore, Sarah Spicer, Taylor Graves, & Eric Fraser) for all of their hard work in getting our story out to the masses and presenting it so well.  Thank you to all of our volunteers at the event.  My dear friend Stephanie Cottle from SCC presents took charge of making sure the day of went great, plus friends Erica Adams, Jennifer Soule, Daniel Friedgood, Sean Canavan, Travis Nolan, Stephanie Johnson, Ashley Shepps, Laurie Moletta, Ben Ritter, Marc Hewlett, Jeremy Brown, Nicole Higgins, Abby Franklin, Jared Lee, All about props, Visual Lab, Lori Prince, & Kaylin Prince.  Our photographers Raymond Adams, Deelite Photography, & John Ramspott; & our amazing cinematographer Jeff Kaplan. Our musicians who played during the opening hour: Gareth Asher & Zara Sky. Thank you to our families for supporting us and traveling to the event.  Thank you to our friends who all donated to the silent auction: Kristen Matalski-Rand, Garret Cockayne, Amy Bridges Spivia, Sara Lua Designs, Soul Makes Jewlery, Cold Georgia Clay, Lux Divine Jewlery, Skyline Fever, Roots and Feathers, Whispered truths, and many more.  

To see more photos from the event go like the Hope for Steve documentary Facebook page where all the photos have been uploaded.