This blog was 5 different very poorly written blogs, before it became this one today. I would write a few crap sentences and look down at the clock ticking away in the bottom right corner of the screen. I couldn't believe it, I was sitting here for a full hour, writing garbage sentence after garbage sentence.
After walking a few laps around my yard, trying to take in new scenery hoping to change the energy I was feeling; as I sit down to type something, that I was sure would be more advanced than a kindergarten sentence, I hear "I'm up" through the monitor.
As I walk in the room making eye contact with Steve, I immediately start releasing all the pent up feelings in tears. The frustration, lack of inspiration, the pent up energy, the disappointment, the claustrophobia, the.....all of it. Most of it pouring out in incoherent words and run on sentences. As I was done, my tear stained eyes looked at Steve's who's were darting across his tobii writing me words to help me feel better.
After 20 minutes of good exchanges and our morning routine, I walked back outside to sit and blog. I look at the screen and read the words I had managed to type earlier. I had typed all about the new moon in Leo and letting your inner fiery roar out, and I start laughing. Much like you see women acting out a full emotional break down on TV. I mean I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard. Once I catch my breath, I'm able to see it all clearly.
Steve without knowing it was my hero today (he usually is, so this part isn't surprising), with his sweet eyes and presence this morning, I was able to find release. The release I needed of all the uninspired, frustration I was carrying around. The release of all the yucky, so that I could go about the rest of my day feeling fresh, hopeful, and even at ease.
So many times, I'm trying to shift my feelings by simply changing my mood to better. I seek inspiration in the birds, changes of scenery, in words, art, etc; when really I need to release the other emotions before there's space for the new. Here I was trying to add emotions on top of emotions and instead of anything funneling out, the excess was boiling over.
Release. How often I forget to release. Acknowledging and feeling the emotions weren't enough, I needed to release them. So today as I feel the lightness of the recent release, I was fortunate enough to experience this morning, I want to leave you with a song; by our very talented and dear friend Gareth Asher all about that release.
What do you need to release? Let it all go, and if it helps, embrace the Leo energies and release it in a nice big roar. Then maybe have a chuckle at yourself, because releasing the tense energies, allows room for the play again.