Words from the flow.

Some of you really resonated with yesterdays blog, thank you for your feedback.  One message, suggested, I should follow up the blog with some thoughts from the flow days.  

Well, I happen to like that idea, and thankfully, I am blessed with a flow day, today.  So I shall take this feedback and run with it, or shall I say flow. :)

Allowing myself the space and freedom to have days where I do have down time is only part of why I am able to have such productive, energized, monumental, inspired flow days.  Those down time days, aren't spent in vein.  They are spent in the garden amongst flowers, or covered in paint, or time having netflix marathons with Steve, cuddles with the pups, extra time in meditation, chatting away with social media connections, do you get my point,...?

No?

Okay well, I find nourishing and comforting things to do when I feel the need for a little extra energy. I didn't always do this.  In fact Steve encouraged me to try this one day, and it's the most life changing decision I've made.  I used to spend those days sleeping in, or moping around, or not doing ANYTHING when I would feel the need for rest or pause;  and it would rarely refuel me. I was spinning my wheels working hard at this and that, doing what I could for Steve, and barely having the energy to do much else.

I had to have a shift.  It had to be this "Okay, if I need to just sit let me do it outside with the birds, the sun, the flowers, the breeze; or let me sit on my meditation matt."  or "Okay if I'm going to watch TV I'm going to do that with my best friend, who happens to spend most of his days watching TV.  I don't even have a remote to our bedroom TV Steve does it with his tobii, or working cable in the living room; because if I'm going to watch TV I want it to be with Steve."  

Another example if I haven't painted a clear picture, yes paint.  "So I'm feeling stir crazy, instead of allowing it to turn into anxiety, I should paint."  I used to pick fights with Steve because I wasn't allowing myself to really feel life, because I had zero coping skills.  So instead of FEELING the stir crazy, BREATHING through it, AND finding a NOURISHING ACTIVITY to do to use that energy, I would fight with Steve.  Steve thanks me for learning to live mindfully.  Trust me, he's been a pro at this for a while; I believe a terminal illness definitely puts you on the expert track to mindfulness.  

Steve and I have a beautiful bond and relationship now, but if you've followed us closely you will have heard both of us sharing openly the work it took us to get there.  The best decisions either of us ever made was to tap inside to see what made us flow, and what helped us get back to it.  What did we both enjoy so much, that we could physically could do; and will make us feel happy, inspired, and fulfilled.  Individually first, together next.  

It's not easy, but I promise it's worth it.  I shared mine with you all, and I'm sure some may wonder what Steve's is.  He loves painting days when he has the energy to get out of bed.  On the vast majority of days when he's needing to rest, he will work the stock market, edit my book (his brain is astounding), chat with his buddies on facebook, and of course follow his GA bulldogs (yes all year y'all, he loves him some dawgs).  

He finds joy in almost every simple moment that he isn't experiencing excruciating pain, and even then he still shows love.  I tell you it's beautiful to be around.  What an honor to spend my days with him.  

So there you have it my friends, some words; from the flow.