When Steve was first showing signs of progression with ALS, was when I really had to learn it's okay to ask for help. I was drowning in being a newly wed, new caregiver, trying to work, and the new realities of ALS. It was all hitting us at once, and I realized quickly I couldn't do it all.
The idea of me not being able to do it all, made me feel not good enough. Thankfully our beautiful friends had a "come to Jesus" chat with me and sat me down. Through tears I listened to them talk about how capable I was but how it was okay to need help. How them helping was a blessing to them and not a burden. They opened my eyes to when people ask, "How can I help?" They really want to help. It's not just a blessing to me, but to them as well.
I've grown a bit more accustomed to accepting that just because I need help doesn't mean I'm failing at anything, in fact it's a strength to realize and be able to accept help with grace.
However, I've become so used to needing help in some areas, that I've become so stubborn against asking for help in others.
For instance with God. God's pulled some epic miracles with Steve, as the complications of life with ALS has tried to take him from me so many times. God's been amazing at using Steve for making people like me have faith again. However, I found myself not feeling comfortable to ask him for anything else.
Why would I ask God to help me handle stress better? I mean I should just freaking handle it, and I began living life like it was my job to HANDLE everything about me without asking for help from God or anyone else. I need so much help with Steve and our aging house these days that anything else seems excessive.
Recently I began praying again. Not really something I would do unless it was for Steve or another family member, or if my mom was doing her "Let's pray," that she so frequently does. I began praying for energy to do all that I intend/hope to do. I began asking for focus, and strength, and patience.
To my surprise the already busy miracle making God, did have time for me. After I ask, the answers almost always show up. From a book recommendation from a friend that same afternoon, to a quote I read when I first open my instagram. It's amazing when opening yourself up to help, how you find yourself growing.
So today I'm here to remind you---it's okay to ask for help. Whether it be a friend or God. In fact it's more than okay. It's life changing.