The year you turn 30 brings a lot of things, one is cellulite, but the more important is the feelings of "I didn't live up to this expectation I unrealistically set for myself." Let's be honest, we all do it. By the time I'm 30 I will have this, I will have done that, etc. Let me tell you if you are reading this and have years before you turn 30---thank me now for what you are about to read. Seriously.
Do NOT set must haves in life. Yes set goals. Goals and must haves actually are on a very thin line but are NOT the same thing.
In my mind, by the time I was 30 I was going to have children because everyone used to say you should have them by then. I was going to have my student loans half way paid off. I have my masters, and owe a lot of money. I wanted to have been to Italy. I was supposed to own a house, have a fancy real job where I was putting into my 401k every paycheck, on and on.
Well guess what. I turn 30 in 10 days & I haven't accomplished any of the things I remember saying "I hope I do" by I'm 30. Guess what else. I am happy with my life. Genuinely happy. I feel great about the things Steve & I have accomplished, about the growth I have had, about the person I am today. I love myself, for the first time in probably 29 years, yet I still have these weird panic sessions about turning 30 & where I am financially, successfully, etc.
Why? Why do we set these "boundaries" on ourselves. I live a life full of goals still, and hope to always do so, but goals are a lot more realistic these days. I also know that as I grow and as I change I will change my mind. I will want different things. That is the beauty of life, you change, you develop, you grow, and yet you remain true to you.
So please, understand an unattainable goal is the same as no goal at all & don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Live the best you can, learn the most you can, strive for the most you can; but accept you, for you, at every stage. You don't have to be a certain way by the time you are 30, you just have to be YOU and be HAPPY with you. & Live.
Happy birthday! I hope it's a happy one! Thank you for sharing all your beautiful thoughts with the world... they're truly inspiring. :]
ReplyDeleteI turn 30 in a month & I can NOT imagine having gone through even 1/200 of what you have been through in your life& I bet 21 year old you wouldn't have been able to imagine it either... truly inspirational. I heard about you through Rombello/Michael Franti & have been very inspired by both you & Steve
ReplyDelete"Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with GREAT LOVE" Mother Teresa
You have done both :)