Friday, May 15, 2015

Different kinds of smiles.

One of the things we hear the most, that make our hearts swell, is that we inspire someone with our choice to face life with a positive attitude.  We put a lot of thought into our lives & how we live them.  It's encouraging when we hear the love and support from you all and it keeps us fueled.  Reminds us why we choose happy even on the darkest of days.  

Here's the truth about life and us.  We do try to choose everyday to be happy.  We believe it's a choice, and we make it every mornings as we are saying our gratitude's while I do Steve's hour morning routine.  It's a slow paced routine as Steve is an adorable sleepy bear and takes a while to get going.  

Some days that idea, of choosing happy, is hard.   Some days life is kicking our ass so much and our over active brains take over, but we still try, even if that means we have to choose it over and over and try to change the day for the positive.  Some days we take lots of photos and share our lives with you----because we are asking for your light to shine in on our darkness.  

You see us when we are drowning but trying to break through with a smile AND you see us when we are shining. We of course share both because like the Eb & Flow of life, you will experience waves, and you have to do whatever you possibly can to stay grounded on that boat. We are so very blessed so even on our grumpiest discouraging days we still remain thankful, that we are so loved & supported, & most importantly that we have each other.

So this month everyday Steve has had a dripping nose.  He's so strong physically and mentally that he makes an effort and choice to remain positive and driven despite.  Image having to have your nose wiped every 20 minutes, to have your nose plugged, to the plugs being forced out by so much drainage, etc, all while not being able to move.  

Steve still wants us to live "our normal" which means, we wake up early in the morning, do our routines, working during the day on our various projects, and enjoy the evenings together while reflecting on all we accomplished that day.  

Some see Steve, and see him as a man just laying in bed all day, bored, weak and suffering.  I'm here to tell you that even on his bad days that's not any where near accurate. 

Steve has his beautiful genuine smile on to greet the day, he says his 5 thankfuls every morning even if it is through tears, he then asks about my day and nudges me to make sure I take some time for myself today, we talk strategy for his day with his stocks, and he then watches stocks, reads the paper, emails with his loved ones, facebooks, interacts with me the 387867 times I'm in and out of the room, we share laughs multiples times a day, share each others accomplishments, I come show him every painting/mala/new yoga pose, and he tells me about his trades he has done.  We then shut down from the busy of the day to curling up to a movie, documentary, show, etc.   

But some days there needs to be a few hours of naps because he's not feeling well, some days we need some extra cuddles because we may be hurting emotionally or physically, and to be frank some days we are just plain old sick of seeing each other so we try to take our own space.  

We plan to always be open about our lives because we truly hope that we can help others create brighter and more positive lives.  We also, some times take our own space, shut down a little, and when we let you in on those days, please know we want you to share your light with us. If even just a little.

Love & light. 

1 comment:

  1. Taking one day at a time. Having hope.
    My Mom became ill when I was 19. And from that time until she died of cancer 21 years latter, my life was devoted in taking care of her.
    During those 21 years, my Granny also became ill, and during five years I took care of them at the same time until my Granny died.
    Being a carer - whether you are a wife, daughter, grandaughter - is a challenge to our love.
    My goal everyday was to make the day the best I could for them. To give them happiness and hope despite disease and suffering.
    When a bad day ended, I used to tell my Mom: Today wasn't very good, but tomorrow will be better.
    And it was living one day at a time, making the most of the time we spent together.
    And not waiting for a special day to celebrate, but trying to make each day a celebration. Of life and love.
    When the cancer started to become more agressive it was in late Spring. My Mom wanted very much to reach Christmas and even though I was fighting to help her, I realised it was going to be very hard for it to happen.
    So in late Spring and all during Summer, I took the Baby Jesus of the Nativity Scene that was stored for her to see, cooked all her favourite xmas food and sweets, and told her that way Baby Jesus would arrive faster.
    It gave her much happiness and will to continue fighting. It was a xmas with warm weather, green leaves on trees, long days.
    In early September my Mom died. I'm grateful for God's help in having done all that early xmas celebrations because when Xmas arrived, she was no longer here.
    So, with or without disease, we have to make the most of each day and do what our heart tells us.
    Now it is a time for me to rebuild my life, after more than 20 years taking care of my Mom, and despite being very hard and painful, with much uncertainty - I never got married and had children - it is still one day at a time, thanking God for the blessing of life.
    I have you and Steve in my heart and prayers.