Hello, ground! Good to see you again.

When making goals I always try to focus us on remaining grounded.  There are some days that life is very surreal for us and it's hard not to get cocky; I don't just mean mentally but spiritually as well.  I am often saying, "If we get too far off the ground please bring us back down. "

Right around new years we had some difficulties with Steve's health, he felt so bad one night, I almost called the ambulance. "I'm sorry but I think it's just my time baby, I love you," he kept typing through tears.  This obviously is a phrase I've heard before twice when he did die on me, so it makes me sad and panic.  

Thankfully (so so so very much thankfully) I was able to get Steve back to health and then I had to bring myself back to zen.  I was so off balance so I increased my mediation side of life; which I'm still doing because it's been life changing.  We have had some really great days and great things happen the past week and it's made us float on positive energy.

We've learned that these moments aren't permanent and there is only this very moment so that whenever we feel happy, we do easily need some grounding because let's be honest we like floating.  :)  Not a bad thing as long as we can float while keeping both feet on the ground.   

So today I got some negative feed back on instagram and I had the automatic, "huh well that was mean, who the bla bla bla..."but then I stopped....  

There it was, I asked that if I got a little too off the ground to bring me back.  I'm back and yes for those who worry I'm fine, the comment isn't what the focus was in this and when I was able to see that I was able to shake it off.  

So now I am feeling grounded but full of positive floaty energy.  

Oh but for all intensive purposes, remember that words do matter.  Choose them wisely.  Be nice.  :) 

Namaste. 

Focus

Coming into the new year Steve & I talked about some new goals we want to accomplish, kind of like we do every new moon, full moon, times we feel stagnant, etc.  We look at where we are in life and what we want different. The things Steve & I want out of this year, and life in general, are going to take work and we developed a plan to help us stay focused and see where we need to grow to stay on task. 

Steve recently has become into day trading, so if that interests you, talk to him about it.  He is eager to learn more and it's been a wonderful way for him to spend his days.  

While Steve is busy trading, he looks at it as a job. We do our morning trache care, breathing treatment, meds, etc, but then Steve is "at work".  He is focused and it motivates me to become so.  While he's working, I have started my own list of adventures.  To start with I had to find where I was spending my time, because I used to always think, "I don't have the time for anything else." After a few days of really being in the moment and paying attention to my time, I saw that although. I always start my day productive with yoga and meditation, afterwards I would find myself spending hours on social media before moving onto another project.  As much as I love y'all on social media----I finally found my time needed to focus on the new things.  

I want to learn Italian, and guitar, and keyboard, and about different stones and there uses, etc. So I'm going to & with the new focus---it can happen.  It will happen. 

I don't want to spend my days looking for little hearts to pop up on my screen I want to fill it with learning, and art, and growth.  I plan to allow myself an hour to catch up on social media as you all are so important to us, I want to keep sharing our journey, and keep in touch with y'all; but I don't want it to consume my day.  

So there you have it.  For those who may wonder--we love you all and you can be happy to know we aren't ignoring anyone---we are making shit happen. :) 

Words

Words have been flowing out of me faster than I can get them on the paper.  I have been working on a book for over a year.  Now when I say 'working' I mean, I would write maybe once or twice a month the past year.  Obviously, that wasn't going to make me progress.  

I have been reading a few books (bird by bird, brain on fire, writing the bones, & the artist way) and in all of them, they repeatedly say in order to further your path you have to do the art everyday.  So I began drawing daily, painting daily, and yes now writing daily.

Of course some days the words don't want to come as quickly or smoothly but if I sit and set my mind to it I can write, and if I meditate on it prior I can write things that I never actually became aware of in myself before.  I have come to 4 profound self realizations this year alone & it's day 10.  

So there may be few words on my blog for a while, but I feel this book is a priority.  You may see a lot of Facebook posts, as I'm using Facebook to help with accountability.  Y'all know my love/hate relationship with social media.  It sometimes just makes my head ache to think about it and other times I can get some of the best inspiration and encouragement there.  

So yes feel free to ask me about it, and say, "How many pages now?"  It's blown my mind that I reached the point I have and I'm feeling more empowered than I have in a long time.  

I want to thank those closet to me for not allowing me to give up on this project like I almost did.  I am so very very thankful to have so much support in putting myself out there. 

photo Raymond Adams